Dear Mr. Santa Claus

My Christmas List

1) I would like a truck that goes vroom. One that can take me from here to the zoo. For this not just any ol’ truck will do. It needs to be big and strong and ready to roll. Something like a Land Rover Defender would be quite nice. That would be just fine for a boy like me.

2) However, if I were to have four wheels it would only be logical to have two. But not just any two will do. It needs to be a package of opulence, speed, beauty and a little insanity. I have an idea! What about something like a confederate wraith? That would be just fine for a boy like me.

3) Now santa, with these kinds of toys I will need a safe, secure, and beautiful place to park them. I need something like your north pole, except with out the cold. Wait I have it! How about my own private tropical island. That would be just fine for a boy like me.

4) Well Santa, now that I have everything a boy could possibly want, I would like something for someone who, as a matter of fact, is not me. Pretty please Santa, could you give a million times more to those in need than what you have ever given me. That would be just fine for a boy like me.

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I’m Back! Now Off To The Amazon.

Well, after a brief hiatus of 5 months I have returned to the zachisphere. I feel that I should inform you why I have decided to start poking at the keyboard once again. I had frequent requests (mainly from my mother) to fire this baby up again, however what really persuaded me to write again was that I began missing the feeling of updating the world in my own special way. If you want to do something it absolutely needs to come from within you. The purpose of this post is to fill you in on my trip to the Amazon which happened shortly after my last update.

Amazon

Okay, here is the story. My Colombian uncle, in all his generosity, decided that his resources would best be spent by flying Antonio and I to the Amazon. As adventurers and proud recipients of generosity we accepted his offer. Thank you again Colombian uncle for fulfilling one of my dreams! The two of us flew from Bogota to the city of Leticia in the Amazon. The flight was truly fantastic. About an hour into the air the landscape transformed into a see of jungle. The selva below looked like something out of a Discovery Channel special

A couple hours later and the plane prepared for landing. It descended on the canopy and it appeared as if it were going to perch itself in a tree. Suddenly the Terra Firma appeared and the plane settled itself on the more comfortable asphalt. We disembarked from the plane, smiled at a smiling young man in the custody of two fully armed soldiers on the edge of the tarmac, and then proceeded to immigration. As we were still in Colombia they only wanted to see that I had an entry stamp into the country. No problems there. We gathered our baggage, and united with our Brazilian guia (or guide) outside. That afternoon we had a brief lesson in local geo-political orientation. Leticia is on the Amazon river and it shares borders with Brazil and Peru. Here is a picture of the border crossing from Leticia (Colombia) to Tabatinga (Brazil).

The reason there is no border control here is because there is no where to go! If you wanted to illegally go into another country via the Amazon you might as well shot yourself. That is why the guerilla have been so successful at keeping prisoners in the amazon. There is nowhere to go, it’s impossible to navigate without proper instruments, and there are lots of things that can kill you. On a side note, in a perverse way the Colombian guerilla are actually helping to preserve the amazon because nobody wants to go in there for fear of being kidnapped. See Checkmate: Colombian Style for more information on prisoners being held in the amazon.

Our first full day in the amazon consisted of us jumping in a small boat and heading off for the Peru side. We motored for an hour up the river before the boat pilot dropped us off at a trailhead on the rivers bank. Once there we met up with a Peruvian guide. Our two guides then led us on an hours walk to a lodge called Marasha where we would be staying. Let me tell you, this lodge looked as if it had descended from heaven. It sits in the middle of the jungle and is on the edge of a lake filled with caymans and piranhas.Naturally, we had to go swimming! Dont worry, we were not so fool hardy to go without asking. The guides said we could swim but they recommended that we not stay in the water for more than a few minutes, and that we check ourselves for any blood. Even a little blood from a mosquito bite would attract piranhas. When I jumped in the water I instantly slipped into a state of bliss. This was the warmest fresh water I had ever experienced. Sheer ecstasy.

That night we went with our guides to find a cayman. We all piled into a canoe and our Peruvian guide shined his headlamp along the shore in search for glare from the eyes of a Cayman. In the distance a bright pair of eyes shined back at us. We paddled towards it, our guide lay flat on his stomach on the front of the boat, and suddenly half his body was underwater wrestling the creature. Here is a picture of him as he lifts it from the water.

That night, with our live specimen, he gave us an anatomy lesson of caymans. They are actually very beautiful animals.

The next day we were introduced to a troupe of monkeys. As with the caymans, our guides paddled us across the lake. We stopped in front of a small tree full of cute little monkeys. We were instructed to firmly hold an unpeled banana in our hand. We did as we were told and the monkeys jumped down on us like Batman on Gotham city. Here is a picture of a monkey jumping from Antonio’s head to that of our guides.

As you can see they are incredibly agile. They jump like human sized monkey olympic long jumpers. Forgive me for anthropomorphizing but they appear to be happy fun loving animals. Maybe in a another life I will be the one taking bananas from the hands of tourists.

After leaving Marasha we went to another lodge on the Colombian side that was much more touristy. However we did one extremely awesome activity. We ascended a massive tree in the middle of the jungle. The tree house perched in the canopy of this tree provided an extraordinary view of the surrounding selva. Attached to the tree house was a swinging bridge to another tree house 100 feet away. Here is a picture from the bottom looking up.

The rest of our time in the Amazon consisted of a few hikes and trying not to be eaten alive by bugs. I would highly recommend a trip to the Amazon to anyone who is looking for an adventure. Here are a few suggestions if you do go. Bring bug spray! Not just the generic stuff, you will need bug spray on par with Chernobyl. Find an outdoor enthusiast and ask for suggestions. Second, hire a good guide. With those two things you will be guaranteed an awesome trip! Lastly, if you would like to see more photos from my trip to the Amazon you can check out the two links below.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2098819&l=9cd75&id=116203016

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2098817&l=dd625&id=116203016

Take care and I will be sure to swing-by sometime soon.

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Peregrinate

Hello again.

I have taken a brief hiatus from this blog business as the open road does not lend itself well to consistent internet access or pursuits that diverge from the daily adventures in the physical realm. Since my last post my Colombian crew and I have visited Villa de Leyva, Barichara, Bucaramanga and Santa Marta on this road trip. At these places we have participated in activities that range from paragliding to spelunking to dying my hair black. I will explain why my hair was dyed in a later post… I will also be sure to describe all the activities in detail at a later date.For now my computer time has evaporated, but my enthusiasm for describing my adventures has not. Please check back for more.

Best regards.

P.S. Congrats to my I Spy winners Isaac Louie & Kate Williams who correctly answered shadow.

P.P.S. Peregrinate: To travel or wander around from place to place.

What an awesome word!

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Los Lagartos

I recently visited a country club in Bogotá called Los Lagartos (The Lizards). We drove for a solid half hour through a city full of people eking out a living by selling chips, cigarettes, cell phone chargers and juggling knives. Pulling up to large iron gates we were greeted by the usual private security found at every entrance in the city. They asked my friends aunt (Paquita) for her country club i.d. number and then we passed through to the fairy tail like surroundings. Driving into the main entrance we passed by a perfectly manicured golf course adjacent to a man made lake for water skiing. To the side of the road are flowers, and in the distance a tall concrete fence with electric wires on the top stands as a reminder to where one actually is. My jaw fell wide open as the multitude of amenities passed before my eyes.

We parked the car and proceeded to the formal dining room. I ordered Trucha Mariposa with a potato and a mango, avocado, lettuce salad. Los Lagartos was dubbed this because the founders nicknamed themselves ‘Los Lagartos.’ Perhaps this is because lizards have a tremendous aptitude for relaxation. If any of you have done your research on bearded dragons you will know that following a meal they need to lay belly down on a rock so that they can digest their food. This process of events know makes perfect sense to me… After lunch my posse and I made our way to the hot springs. The hot springs consist of two contained pools in the heart of the lake. It was the perfect place to do as the lizards do. Following that we visited the steam room or baño turco (Turkish Bath). I began to relax once I accepted that my respiratory system would not accommodate to the burning moist air. After emerging I began to feel a shade of cleanliness I had not felt since my bubble baths as a baby. The steam mined into my pores and withdrew dirt I never knew existed.

However, the grandest part of my time at Los Lagartos is the activity I participated in after I dried and clothed myself. As usual I was on the hunt for a playground to fulfill my acrobatic quota for the day. When I arrived at the playground I did not just find a slide and monkey bars, I found this roller coaster of fun!

It is unlike any playground toy I have ever experienced. The result of this toy lifting its patron up and around is sheer ecstasy!

Financially country clubs are only for the wealthiest citizens in the country. I did some research as to how much a membership costs and I dug up these figures. The cost of a membership to enter the facility is approximately $20,000. That’s dollars, not pesos. After you are an official member, the monthly costs will set you back approximately $600 per month. Then once you start visiting the club you still need to pay for food and drinks. Basically what the club offers is a safe and large facility for its customers to enjoy their many amenities. Amenities include golf, tennis, swimming, water skiing, hot springs, saunas, squash, bowling, ping pong, playground, restaurants and of course massages. Paquitas husband was an extremely successful businessman, and this club was just one of his ventures. Because her husband was a founding member her monthly fees equate to the cost of purchasing milk for a family of 5!

Los Lagartos definitely receives the ‘Zach Stamp of Approval’

P.S. The riddle has not yet been solved. Here it is again.
“I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter ‘S’ (they play eye spy with letters here…).” Here are your hints to save you some grief. The Spanish and English word for this both start with the letter ‘S’, it is something that can be seen in almost every part of the world and everything from termites to the CN tower has one.

Silhouette was the closest guess, but it is not quite on the money. If you think you know the answer write it in the comments below.

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Checkmate: Colombian Style

For this entry I contacted a ‘reporter’ to write a piece for me on the rescue of FARC hostages in the Colombian jungle. In my opinion not many movies can trounce this story.

“Whenever there is major news here in Colombia, it is either a great event or, more often, a tragedy. I was sitting at my desk going through countless articles on one of many scandals here in Colombia that I was researching for the company where I am interning, when I heard various people in the office shout: “liberaron a Ingrid!” “Ingrid has been liberated!” Everyone in the office rushed to the nearest TV set to witness the unprecedented incident.

Colombia’s Minister of Defense, Juan Manuel Santos, was debriefing a group of journalists on the occurrences of the day. He related the intricate plot that was carried out by the army against the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC), a guerrilla group that is classified by both North American governments and the European Union as a terrorist group.

During various attacks against military bases, illegal road blocks, and in outright combat over the years that date back to the 1990’s, thousands of soldiers, policemen, and civilians have ended up in the FARC’s concentration camps, deprived of their freedom.

For that reason, when Santos revealed that military personnel had rescued 15 of the most important kidnapped victims, the whole country came to a stand still.

For the next thirty minutes, everyone in the office was plastered to their television screens, and all the websites that we tried to access crashed as thousands of users tried to obtain information about the epic situation being witnessed.

Several hours later, as the euphoria of the liberation climaxed, Ingrid Betancourt, an ex-presidential candidate kidnapped 76 months ago while campaigning for the presidency in the remote Guaviare region of Colombia, along with three U.S. military contractors, and eleven Colombian military personnel that had been in captivity for up to ten years, landed on the tarmac of Catam Military Base in Bogota. She was received by a multitude of reporters, as well as her mother and husband, who for years struggled to rescue their loved one.

Over the past six years and four months, Ingrid had become the emblem of all of the over 700 hostages that are still being held by FARC, the longest of whom have been on an endless crusade in the jungle that is now surpassing eleven years!

Over the past four months, this shrilling picture has circled the globe, as a campaign for her liberation, primarily led by the French government (she is also a French citizen), had been pressuring the Colombian authorities to bargain with the FARC for her release. To everyone’s surprise, the fruitless works of this campaign to attain her release ended as she stepped off the plane with the rest of her formerly captive “family” of 14, with whom she began to recount the day’s events.

She began by giving praise to God almighty, through whom the military operation had been, in her words, “an impeccable miracle.” And indeed it merits the qualification of an impeccable, perhaps even supernatural performance, for the series of events that she then proceeded to describe truly sounded as if they were from an exotic Hollywood movie.

As has been noted, the French effort to gain her freedom had in recent days met with the FARC to try to bargain her release perhaps in exchange of some guerrilla that are currently imprisoned. As a result, there had been rumors circulating that she might be released to a humanitarian organization in cooperation with Venezuela’s president, Hugo Chavez, who in January and February of this year achieved the release of several former Colombian congressmen held captive by the FARC.

Consequently, Ingrid began her tale by saying that she had customarily awoken at around 4:30am, and prayed her usual prayer in hopes that perhaps today would be the day of her liberation… perchance the harsh, in her words, “despotic and humiliating” wills of the commanders who inhumanely held her chained to trees, would sway.

At around 11 AM, one of these commanders told her that it had been arranged so that she would be transferred along with fourteen of the most prized prisoners to a safer location, where they might be able to dialogue with the newly instated leader of the FARC, Alfonso Cano (the long time ruling founder of the FARC, Manuel Marulanda died of natural causes last month), and where they would continue to be held in captivity.
She tells that as soon as she heard that word, “captivity,” all her hopes were dashed for her release to a humanitarian organization.

Notwithstanding, an hour later, two white helicopters hovered overhead and landed on the opposite bank of a turbulent jungle river. She confessed that unlike all other occasions when helicopters had hovered in the vicinity, she did not feel fear. A helicopter overhead usually meant waking in the middle of the night, quickly packing her few belongings, putting on her permanently damp and cold clothing, and embarking on treks that usually lasted over ten hours, as the ensuing military troops drew ever closer. It is estimated that Ingrid traveled around 300 km a year by foot through dense and at times seemingly impenetrable tropical forest. For this reason, she describes it as a completely surreal experience when she actually felt a renewed hope at seeing the helicopters that were to transfer her to a new location.

As she crossed the river by canoe, the doors of the helicopter opened, and several men and women wearing white clothing with strange emblems from an unheard of organization walked towards the shore to greet them. She remarks that what made the whole situation very strange was the fact that the helicopters were plain white, with no emblems, no markings, nothing. As she got off the canoes she noticed that the men in white were actually wearing T-shirts with the face of Che Guevara. Instantly, her hopes were once more broken as she realized that they were not members of any humane organization: they were clearly FARC supporters. They ordered all the prisoners to have their hands handcuffed, and to humiliatingly enter the helicopter with the two guerrilla “jailers” that over saw their confinement. She refused to be helped as she carried her belongings on board.

Once the fifteen hostages and the two armed “jailers” were aboard, the helicopter took off. She explained that she did not pay attention to what happened next, but that she heard someone fall down, and when she looked over, the two jailers who had for so long held her imprisoned, lay naked on the ground with their eyes bound. She revealed that she did not feel happiness at seeing her “domineering” captors weak and defenseless, but rather felt “pity.”

The troops flying them to safety then proclaimed: “we are your National Army, welcome to freedom!”

The events that Ingrid so movingly communicated were part of a military operative called JAQUE (Spanish for Checkmate).In a martial operative without precedent, JAQUE achieved the rescue of 15 hostages without a single shot being fired. In an intricate operation with the help of Israeli intelligence technology, military personnel managed to infiltrate the commanding ranks of the FARC over a period of several months, and finally gained full confidence of the “jailers” in charge of the hostages. They convinced the jailers that it would be beneficial to move the hostages to a safer local deeper in the rainforest, and thus arranged for the transport of the captives. They even managed to infiltrate the head leadership of the FARC, confirming the transfer operation with Cano himself. However, the biggest problem was the fact that the fifteen men and women were in three separate groups up to 100km apart. The military managed to convince those in charge of the captives to bring them all together in one location for pickup. Thus, planning to “transfer” the kidnapped, the military orchestrated an audacious and risky attempt that freed 15 individuals from their oppression.

An awesome and incredible story as this has brought a lot of joy to a country and a people that have for decades been the victims of equally traumatic tragedies as a result of the FARC.

Equally amazing, is the fact that there are still thousands of victims of kidnappings that are each day marching on without ever knowing if they will leave the unending forest behind. However, what never ceases to astound me is the very limited knowledge that the rest of the world has of the fate of these unlucky individuals. I believe that one of the greatest problems that Colombia currently faces is the fact that stories like these remain unbeknownst to most.

I would appreciate it if everyone who reads this would share it with as many people as possible, regardless of whatever you may think of the actions of the Colombian government, the FARC, or this post. The people that will hopefully continue to make it out alive will thank you in the future, just as Ingrid and her free compatriots recognize the fact that they owe their lives to those that never forgot them.”

-Antonio Acevedo

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Farm and I Spy

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to spend time at my friends farm. It is a 150 km car trip from Bogotá that takes approximately 3 hours or more. This is because of the high quality roads and buses that seem to be driving sideways due to their excellent alignment. I love the novelty of traveling by car here. There are buses that lean to one side like the leaning tower of Pisa, buses that pass small cars on uphill corners, potholes large enough to drown small animals and scenery fresh from the motorcycle diaries. However, my favorite thing has to be the Arepa tiendas along the road (Arepas are a puck sized food item crafted from corn that are sometimes sweetened and stuffed with cheese). These tiendas serve divinely delicious Arepas fresh from an in house wood-burning oven. This is further evidence that it is easy for someone with dollars to live like a king here. Each one costs around $0.35! They are usually eaten for breakfast and it only takes a few to have a meal.

Anyways, the weekend at the farm was excellent! The farm is only a few kilometers away from a small town named Toca. Toca has the highest rate of beer consumption per capita in the country. Apparently this is because of their “cold” climate. With that said I decided I would be very happy to meet the town firework expert. We arrived at a small open-air bar and asked the bartender if he could fetch the firework manufacturer for us. After a few minutes a grey haired man slightly younger than my grandfather walked out towards us. We told him that we were in the market for fireworks. He told us that he sells packages of a dozen fireworks for 20,000 and 25,000 pesos. He then added that he had some for 50,000 pesos but we shouldn’t even ask about those. So naturally we asked about them and convinced him to sell us a dozen. That night at the farm the firework decibel level was such that 1/3 of Colombia probably heard it. Here is a picture of my beloved fireworks.

Standing next to me is my partner in crime, Andres. The fireworks are more like WW2 rockets than whatever it is that you (my readership) are accustomed to seeing. That grey haired man really knows his stuff! Unfortunately we scared the horses at the farm so bad that they decided they would rather jump over a 5-foot fence than stick around. Thankfully they were re-discovered this afternoon and my conscience is again in the clear. This past weekend was definitely explosively awesome.

I would like to conclude with a riddle. We were playing “I Spy” in the car today and one of my fellow travelers named Miranda hit me with a riddle that pummeled my brain for a good percentage of the afternoon. Here it goes. “I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter ‘S’ (they play eye spy with letters here…).” Here are your hints to save you some grief. The Spanish and English word for this both start with the letter ‘S’, it is something that can be seen in almost every part of the world and everything from termites to the CN tower has one. Please write your guess in the comments.

Hasta Luego!

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HappyFeliz

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“I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness…”

-Dalai Lama

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Gapminder

Here is a TED video of Hans Rosling explaining how statistics can be more meaningful and accessible.

You can access the software he is talking about at Gapminder. This website is amazing at making statistics more fun and useful. Read on if you wish to know what Gapminder is all about…

“Gapminder is a non-profit venture promoting sustainable global development and achievement of the United Nations Millennium Development Goals by increased use and understanding of statistics and other information about social, economic and environmental development at local, national and global levels.

The initial activity was to continue development of the Trendalyzer software. This software unveils the beauty of statistical time series by converting boring numbers into enjoyable, animated and interactive graphics. The current beta version of Trendalyzer is available since March 2006 as Gapminder World, a web-service displaying a few time series of development statistics for all countries. In March 2006 Google acquired Trendalyzer from Gapminder Foundation and the team of developers that worked for Gapminder has joined Google in California since April 2007.

Since the Trendalyzer development was taken over by Google the Gapminder Foundation maintain the same aim and uses Trendalyzer and its resources to produce videos and web service showing major global development trends with animated statistics. Such a 3 to10 minute video is called a GapCast and they are published as free web casts with the aim of promoting a fact based world view. A GapCast converts statistical time series into moving graphics in ways that allows evidence based trends to be told as simple story lines. The time series used will be made freely available in the web service called Gapminder World that enable end users to further explore the underlying statistics in Trendalyzer graphics.”

Taken from “About Gapminder“

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Contrasts

Colombia is a land of contrasts in every sense. It is a nation that clearly displays disparities as stark as black and white, Fiats and Ferrari’s, opulence and destitution. The contrasts in nature and humanity are part of what makes this country so fascinating to me. The terrain encapsulated by this country’s borders offers the curios soul everything from the Caribbean sun to snow peaked mountains.

However, what I really want to talk about are the social contrasts. Colombia is a country that experiences classicism like almost nothing that can be imagined by most of those who have only been exposed to life in the west. Hopefully this will not expose my own ignorance or innocence on the issue, but I wish to explain a little bit about what life is like here. As far as I know, all people with the means to do so have a maid who takes care of the mundane details of life. It is not uncommon to have a maid that lives full time with a family. When my friend Antonio was growing up in Colombia his family had two maids to take care of the young family. It is amazing for me to be here and have a maid look after everything. I leave my dirty clothes on the floor in the morning and they are cleaned and folded by the evening. The family tells her what they want for lunch and dinner and it is ready by the time they specify. Not only are there maids, but there are also copious amounts of private security who monitor the many residences in the city. This is not so much a consequence of the civil war as it is from the noticeable difference in class. The images of life here that I am absorbing are super interesting. For example, I just came back from a walk through town in a fairly posh area, complete with a TGI Fridays, cafes and clubs. Parked on the side of street was an armored SUV with two private security guards who had returned from escorting their patron to the safety of a nearby club. However the most stunning example of the class structure is one that I experienced on my last expedition here. I had the great fortune to visit a city called Ciudad Bolivar. It is a city of 2 million people who have little or no access to electricity or clean water. Many of them have been displaced as a result of the Guerilla and have a quality of life that can easily be described as wretched. This is a city of residents who live on less then $1 per day. The thing that is hard for me to fathom is that this city is only around 20 kilometers away from my current location in the ‘comfy’ part of town.

The point I want to make is that the disparity is so apparent across this miraculous country, and a large part of classicism is being apathetically aware of the issues. The sad thing is that there is definitely ‘a blanket’ of arrogance that the rich have towards the lower classes.

I look forward to shedding more light on the subject as my education increases. For now I am really appreciating this lifestyle and all that I am experiencing!

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Post-Arrival

The plane touched down on the 37th most failed state in the world (as defined by Foreign Policy magazine) and I couldn’t be happier. Not because of the massive number of internally displaced people in the country, or because of the civil war that has been raging for over 40 years, but because I finally arrived in one of the most stunning countries on the planet where many dear friends of mine happen to be residing. I grinded my way through customs with missing information in regards to my address of residence in Colombia. The official who stamps the passport gave me a funny look and eventually stamped my document allowing me to roam around the country for 60 days. Within half an hour of meeting the official I was rendezvousing with my long lost friends. A day after landing in Bogotá I was in Villa de Leyva at my Colombian “uncle’s” hacienda. Here is a picture of the estate.

The place is unreal! It comes complete with a private lake and solar shower as can be seen in the photo above. My Colombian “uncle” lives like a king and treats his guests like royalty as well. Many middle class to upper class people in Colombia have full time servants that work hard to make their patrons feliz. Colombian “uncle” is no exception. He has a full time servant to serve me Guanabana juice, Arepas and Morsilla (blood sausage). Not only did I eat delicious food, I also had the tremendous fortune to roam the mountains for hours on end with his racing quad. Needless to say I was in my element!

Now that I am back in Bogotá I once again have the glorious internet. I will do my best to update this vina (thing) more often. I leave you with a hard core picture of me rocking out on a miniature dirt bike.

Chow amigos!

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